Friday, March 9, 2012

Where the Scars Are

Of the kids we have at home right now, all have been harmed. All of them were brought to our family from what I call 'Hard Starts'. Two of my four have visible scars on their bodies from their early traumatic experiences. At one point we had counted 35 IV scars on Lovebug's hands and feet (and one on his forehead). These two children have very obvious disabilities as well. The world can see they have been hurt.

The other two, not so much. Unless you look very closely, they have no visible scars, hurts, or disabilities. they look, "normal". They look O.K. But they are so very hurt. They carry scars so large they almost can't see past them. As much as their brother and sister do, they carry their damage around with them. It colors every thought they have. It affects their life function in seemingly every area.
And no one can see the hurt

We set some pretty high standards in our home. We try to keep the bar of progress attainable for each individual child, but we certainly want them to reach for their best. I live with these children every day and know the indescribable depth of their scars. And I find myself forgetting the invisible wounds, the hidden damage. I expect more than my "Invisible"-scar kids have to give, and I forget the "Visible"-scar kids also have invisible hurts.

But don't all of us have hidden hurts? Isn't it just a matter of degree?
It makes me think about the people we pass on the street, the ones we see in the park, who serve us at the store, or whom we serve at work. Are they living, surviving, and trying to function with invisible disabilities; with unseen damage to their souls? We never know what limitations another is overcoming just to be the person they are today.

Grace. I will try to take this thought and remember my children's limitations. I will strive to offer grace to my neighbor, to the strangers I meet. Wish me luck, it's seldom an easy task.

1 comment:

  1. Very touching post! Really impactful...and so very sad but true. On the rare times when I stop and think deeply enough to really consider this, it amazes me to think how all of us...and I mean ALL...have been hurt and/or traumatized in one way or another!